Al-Sayyid Ahmad, like any other ordinary father, wants the best for his daughters. He wants them to be protected from evil and to have a prosperous life. To bring this about, Ahmad uses his power to stimulate fear in both of his daughters, Aisha and Khadija. This fear, which has become Ahmad’s best tool to compel his daughters to respect him, has made it extremely difficult to understand why Aisha and Khadija love their father blindly. To get a better understanding of this love, I had to take into consideration their culture.
Until this point of the novel, Ahmad has proven that he is not an affectionate father. He is strict and doesn’t tolerate any approach made by any of his children to disobey his orders. It is true; most of the rules and attention in the house are directed to the boys, but this doesn’t mean that both Aisha and Khadija are being left out. Both daughters are forced to remain inside their house isolated from the rest of the world. The rules that apply to them are simply to not let any stranger see them and to learn to do the duties of the house so when marriage comes around they are prepared. When their father is around, both daughters’ heart begins to beat faster from the fear that Ahmad provokes among them. They behave like a puppy behaves when he sees his cruel master approaching. The amount of fear these girls feel towards their father cannot be compared to the love they have for him. At the end of the day, no matter what cruelties their father commits, they will continue to praise, respect, and love him.
To understand this blinded love one must take into consideration Aisha and Khadija’s culture. They are female Muslims, which means that they believe men must protect them. If they are not protected, they are considered tarts. In their culture “the role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man is her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men” (1). Ahmad has confessed to us by telling his loyal friends:
“You ask me about fathering females? It’s an evil against which we are defenseless, but let us thank God. In any case, it’s a duty. This is not to say that I don’t love my daughters. In fact, I love them as much as I do Yasin, Fahmy, and Kamal, each equally. But how can my mind be at rest when I know that I will carry them to a stranger one day. However attractive he may seem on the outside, only God knows what’s inside him. What can a weak girl do when she’s faced by a strange man far from the supervision of her father? What will her fate be if her husband divorces her one day, after her father has died? She must take refuge in her brother’s house to endure a life of neglect. I’m not afraid for any of my sons, no matter what happens to them, he’s a man and is able to confront life. But a girl… my God preserve us”. (263)
Ahmad means no harm by being strict to his daughters; he just wants to prepare them for their future. He wishes marriage wasn’t an option and that he could keep protecting his daughters, but he knows that his wish will not happen therefore all he can do is teach them to be submissive.
After reading more about the relationship between father and daughters in a Muslim community, I was able to understand why Aisha and Khadija love their father. They are aware of his cruelty, but continue to admire him. After all, thanks to Ahmad they are well respected by the rest of their community. If Ahmad shows affection, his daughters will grow weaker and will suffer the consequences once they encounter marriage.
Work cited:
(1) Zainab. "Like Father, Like Daughter." Web log post. Because Muslis matter. WordPress & Mimbo Pro, 03 Mar. 2009. Web. 24 Feb. 2010. <http://muslimmatters.org/2009/03/03/like-father-like-daughter/>.
(2) Mahfouz, Naguib. Palace Walk. New York: Anchor, 1990
(3)Photographer: Old Shoe Woman
Shrimp! This is cool. OK, first of all, I want to say that you've definitely made me see a different side to Ahmad. Before reading this, I did believe that he was a selfish man, who cared about nothing more than having a good time outside of his home. But, like the time old-story goes of a parent who works so hard to provide for their children, they lose out on getting to know them. I can understand Ahmad's insecurity of not wanting any other man to take care of his daughter, simply because he (Ahmad) is only going to know as much as his future son-in-law is going to let him know. The unsure feeling of sending a daughter off to some strange man can drive him crazy. But, I think if he'd focus more on truly parenting his daughters to make them prepared for things in life besides how to clean and make tea and coffee, he could rest a little easier. Instead of going and having affairs, he could stay home and get to know his daughters more intimately and find a mate for them that will cater to her specific needs. Instead of going out and getting drunk with his co-workers, he could stay home and teach his sons, especially Yasin, about the importance of treating a woman well and not like an object. But, these are just my opinions.
ReplyDeleteAt first I was also confused on whether Ahmad truly loves his children and how the children still love him even though they fear him. I see now that he shows his love in protection. he wants to protect his daughters from the strange men who will soon marry them. in a way I see his confession about raising daughters as an objection to arranged marriages. In arranged marriages you don't really get the time to know the person who your innocent ignorant daughter will marry. I womder if he worries about it becuase he's afraid she'll marry a strict man like him. Do he want to protect his daughters from a man like himself or is he a good example for a model husband. Does he really think that how he treats Amina and his family is right? i believe he worries about his daughters because they could end up with a husband like himself. He wants to protect them from himself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Yesenia. Ahmad is strict with his daughters because he wants to prepare them for what they should expect in the future. Like Marcell says, his daughters are, one day, going to marry a man who may be just like their father. Since Ahmad knows the kind of man he is and the kind of men that are out there, he wants to prepare his daughters for what they will have to face and endure. Like Marcell said, he wants to protect them from himself.
ReplyDeleteI also think that the way he protects his daughters is the way he shows his affection for them. We not only have to take into consideration their culture, but the difference in attitudes that each father has. For example, Ahmad shows his affection for his daughters by protecting them while other fathers show it by giving hugs to their children, kisses, and words of encouragement. Others do it by spoiling their children (not to be confused with giving a child what they want as a form of neglect). Each father has a different way of demonstrating their love for their child. Granted, the culture does have a lot to do with his attitude, but so does the way he feels he should express himself. It may be because of the culture he feels this way, but it may not be.